STORY BY BOB JOHNSON • PHOTO BY MICHELLE JOHNSON
Life is full of twists and turns. They are inevitable, even though we’re told the only sure things in life are death and taxes. How we deal with those twists and turns plays a gigantic role in determining the trajectory of our lives.
Growing up, Aaliyah Friend has had more than her fair share of twists and turns to navigate. On countless occasions, she could have chosen the wrong road — one that could have been destructive both to herself and her family. But each time a potentially harmful path came into view, Friend opted for an alley — specifically, the bowling alley in Winston-Salem, N.C., that is owned and operated by her grandfather, Tracy Golding, and her mother, Tabitha Golding.
Northside Bowling Lanes is located in the northern part of Winston-Salem and has been in operation since 1960. The business actually debuted earlier in downtown Winston-Salem, but Expressway Lanes as it was then known was destroyed in a fire.
Following the blaze, the Ingram family formed a partnership with another family to build a bowling center in Northside’s current location — but only if it would operate as a de-segregated business. Northside was the first bowling center in the city, and one of the first in North Carolina, to welcome patrons of all ethnicities.
The center demonstrated that white and Black people not only could coexist, but forge lifetime friendships, contradicting the assertions and prejudices of many.
As Tracy Golding, who purchased the center with a partner in 2006, proudly describes Northside Lanes, “We’re a huge community partner and pillar.” It’s why the Golding family was determined to keep the center alive despite the business challenges presented by the COVID-19 pandemic. And it’s where Aaliyah Friend grew up.
Aaliyah (pronounced uh-lee-uh) has a father, but he struggled with making difficult decisions and being there as a dad. Sometimes just getting to see him could be a challenge.
But Aaliyah has seldom dwelled on that fact, and calls upon a bowling analogy to describe her lot: “At many times, my life has been like stuffing an 8-pin. You leave them, then you go pick them up.”
So it was up to her mother, grandparents, other family members and an extended family of friends to raise Aaliyah and provide as “normal” an upbringing as possible for a mixed-race child without an engaged father.
From the beginning, Tabitha was determined that Aaliyah would not only avoid those aforementioned wrong paths, but also rise above her situation and be everything she could be in life. It began with her name.
Aaliyah is named after the singer, Aaliyah Dana Haughton, who was widely credited for helping redefine contemporary R&B, pop and hip hop before tragically dying in a plane crash at the age of 22. It is the feminine version of the name Ali and translates to “exalted” or “the chosen one.”
Explains Tabitha, “It was meant to be a calling on her life to be stronger and to push herself to the next level.”
Then there is the matter of faith. The Goldings are religious and have never been shy about using prayer to help Aaliyah stay on the straight and narrow.
“I think our family’s faith has played a very important role in Aaliyah becoming the person she has,” says her grandmother, Liz Golding. “She has had so many people pulling for her, wanting what’s best for her, helping her set goals and watching as she achieved them. We’re all so proud of her — not just for the things she has done, but mainly the person she is.”
That person, among so many other things, is a sister to numerous half-brothers and half-sisters. Because they have not grown up with the support system that she has, Aaliyah does her best to mentor, set an example or simply lend a sympathetic ear.
She played a similar role with many of her classmates at West Forsyth High.
“Aaliyah would just take them under her wing because she didn’t want them to have the same struggles she had,” her mother explains.
Aaliyah’s determination to succeed and desire to help others did not go unnoticed outside the family.
“Aaliyah is the kind of student that reminds me why I love to teach,” wrote Brooke Stone in a letter of recommendation. “She brings energy to the classroom that is contagious and invigorates the students around her… She brings fresh, innovative ideas to the classroom and inspires her peers to work harder and dig deeper. Aaliyah is nothing short of a delight to teach.”
Stone also acknowledged how Aaliyah’s “life has not been easy,” yet “she works hard to overcome her circumstances and be successful in spite of them.
“Fate handed her a deck of cards without any aces or kings and asked her to play poker,” Stone noted. “Many of my students with similarly tough home situations and backgrounds allow their circumstances to dictate their success. Aaliyah isn’t one of those students. She works hard to overcome her circumstances and be successful in spite of them.”
Stone was quick to add that Aaliyah “is not perfect. Sometimes things get away from her and she gets behind, but she always catches back up and gets back on top again. Aaliyah is an inspiring young woman.”
Aaliyah’s accomplishments both off and on the lanes even caught the attention of Pilot Mountain (N.C.) Mayor Evan Cockerham, who displayed some impressive knowledge of women’s professional bowling in his letter of recommendation.
“As a bowler, Aaliyah is simply outstanding,” Cockerham wrote. “She is a quietly confident but fierce competitor who approaches the game with intensity and focus, always striving to improve and reach her full potential. Her game and mentality remind me of Danielle McEwan, and I believe she will grow to become that type of ambassador for our sport in her own way. That is why it’s essential that the bowling community support Aaliyah in every way that we can.”
Yet as admired as she is, Aaliyah’s 3.2 grade point average — while solid and admirable by any standard — was not high enough to qualify her for scholarships that require a 4.0 GPA at a bare minimum. And as she was nearing the end of her high school years, it had become painfully apparent to her mom that they needed to find some scholarships for which a 3.2 GPA would not be disqualifying.
On a weekend away that was supposed to provide some leisurely time at the beach, mother and daughter eschewed the rays of the sun and spent their time searching for scholarship opportunities online. That’s when Tabitha — who still has $8,396.40 of her own in outstanding student loans — came upon the Daroll and Dolores Frewing Scholarship, a $25,000 scholarship awarded annually to a graduating senior who is the child or grandchild of a Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America member.
After carefully reviewing all of the applications and essays with any potentially identifying information redacted, a committee selected Aaliyah for the 2023 honor. She follows in the footsteps of Andrew Amore (2020), Avery Schenk (2021) and Emma McCrary (2022).
Liz Golding says her granddaughter “knows the milestones and understands who helped her. She is always grateful and appreciative. She verbalizes that well to other people.”
Adds Aaliyah’s mother: “Her heart is in the right place. People want to do more when she is around.”
What impresses Tracy Golding most about his granddaughter is “her spirit of inclusiveness. That started really young. If some of the other kids did not want to include someone in what they were doing, she stood up for them. It was like a ripple on water — it just kept getting larger and larger over time.”
While her family is proud of Aaliyah’s character, they also acknowledge that Mayor Cockerham is correct: She is an excellent bowler. That’s one of the reasons she will be attending the University of Maryland Eastern Shore in Princess Anne, Md. One of the reasons, but not the only reason. Maryland Eastern Shore is an “historically black college,” and Aaliyah says she is looking forward to learning more about that side of her heritage — in a positive way.
“Some adults in my life that were supposed to be influences were absent because of the choices they made,” Aaliyah says. “There were people I didn’t get to see for extended periods of time. And there were times when it was difficult to not follow in their footsteps. But I always came to realize that they were simply people in my support system who weren’t supporting the system.
“It’s big for me to understand the other part of where I came from,” she adds. “It’s easy for people of mixed races to go with one side or the other. I think it’s okay to be a professional melting pot.”
Complicating Aaliyah’s already complicated life was a late-2020 diagnosis of pericarditis, a cardiovascular deficiency. It took some time for doctors to get her on the proper meds, but she has been doing well and is looking forward to joining the powerhouse Eastern Shore women’s bowling team known as the Hawks.
Aaliyah says she is planning to major in sports management and also has thought about getting into real estate. She has pondered what direction having expertise in both fields could take her.
Aaliyah Friend has made it to the ripe old age of 18 with a solid academic record, an admirable civic record and a dogged determination to make something positive out of her life. She has gotten here against long odds, but with a support system that many would envy, even if it has not been perfect.
Now, with a big assist from the Daroll and Dolores Frewing Scholarship, it’s on to bigger things and a new set of twists and turns. It’s called life, and thanks to the family members and friends who stepped up, combined with a deep religious faith, few have ever been better prepared for it.
Bowling Center Management Online 
Leave a comment